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Fart in your gen direxion
I am the goatse.cx guy
Joined: 24 May 2002
Posts: 2022
Location: Regrettably for you, I'm Upwind in Upstate N.Y.
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 Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2003 10:44 am Post subject: Re: Tales of the Stupid |
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| Sir Hamster of Elderberry wrote: | | Mr. Snrub wrote: | ...
Does anyone else have similar tales of their own nincompoopery that they would like to share?  |
Does a first marriage count?  Nevermind. 
ni! i!u |
Oh god, don't go there !!! |
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Silly American Kanigit
Duke
Joined: 21 May 2002
Posts: 490
Location: Albany, New York
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| Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2003 10:52 am Post subject: Re: Tales of the Stupid |
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| Fart in your gen direxion wrote: | | Sir Hamster of Elderberry wrote: | | Mr. Snrub wrote: | ...
Does anyone else have similar tales of their own nincompoopery that they would like to share? |
Does a first marriage count? Nevermind.
ni! i!u |
Oh god, don't go there !!! |
No, No... A first marriage doesn't count but I can tell you from experience that a second marriage counts. 
I guess I did do something stupid after all.
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S.C.o.G.i.LooNIS.&S.r.o.o.G.i.LooNIs.t.w.i.&G.c.LooNIs. |
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Fart in your gen direxion
I am the goatse.cx guy
Joined: 24 May 2002
Posts: 2022
Location: Regrettably for you, I'm Upwind in Upstate N.Y.
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| Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2003 11:03 am Post subject: |
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I have a kitchen fiasco along the lines of Sir Snrub's first post.
I have a propensity for putting things in the oven and then leaving the house for 8 to 12 hours running around doing things, returning home to an un-identifiable crispy thing in the oven. This has happened innumerable times .
But there was one memorable event:
I awoke hungry, and for reasons that will soon be obvious, there was practically no food objects in the refrigerator except for a couple of pieces of pizza.
I put the pizza in the oven 
Then I went to the girlfriends house  .
From where we left to go on vacation  .
To Italy .
For 3 WEEKS  .
I found the pizza upon my return to be just a bit overdone for my tastes. Even Sparky (may he rest in peace) would not eat it.
BUT, I didn't burn my hands removing the pizza !!  |
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Fart in your gen direxion
I am the goatse.cx guy
Joined: 24 May 2002
Posts: 2022
Location: Regrettably for you, I'm Upwind in Upstate N.Y.
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| Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2003 11:08 am Post subject: |
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| jonnyv wrote: | | Fart in your gen direxion wrote: |
I own a couple of cars, this car my daily commuter, it's a 2001 Hyundai, it's a POS (piece of sh*t  ). It has sheet metal the thickness of aluminum foil. Her car is a twelve-year old GM model and weighs 47 tons and is big as a battleship . |
How many tons are devoted to chrome?
| Quote: | She smashed into it again with her new car  . This time causing twice as much damage as the first time.  |
They didn't use heavy-duty foil for the repairs?! Demand a refund! |
Her car (the first one) suffered absolutely no damage . My car was pushed 3 feet as a result of the accident. Remember the equation: F=MA
The Hyundai manual states" Hyundai cars are well known for their structural integrity, 50 % of the strength is acheived by the paint, all two coats of it" |
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Sir Hamster of Elderberry
KWSN ArchBishop
Joined: 20 May 2002
Posts: 5117
Location: Beer City, Cheese Quadrant
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| Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2003 12:47 pm Post subject: |
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| Fart in your gen direxion wrote: | ...
I put the pizza in the oven
Then I went to the girlfriends house .
From where we left to go on vacation .
To Italy .
For 3 WEEKS .
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OK, I think I'm ready to declare Sir Fart the winner in the kitchen category. If anyone has done worse, I doubt they would admit to it! 
The worst I can think of is checking to see if a burner was hot with my bare hand ...
... {sizzle} *** OUCH *** ... Yep, that's hot.
I seem to recall learning that lesson twice.
HOC, make a note to revoke Sir Fart's Camelot kitchen privileges before he burns the whole castle down!! 
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-- Have you seen my goat? |
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METATRON
Baron
Joined: 22 Dec 2002
Posts: 172
Location: errr.....i am lost.....
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| Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2003 1:01 pm Post subject: |
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SIR FARTY
WOULD YOU LIKE TO PURCHASE MY CAR??
FORD GALAXY 1978 V8 302 WEIGHTS 2.560 KGS(without the driver)
it is literary an batle tank!
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NI! |
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Sir Hamster of Elderberry
KWSN ArchBishop
Joined: 20 May 2002
Posts: 5117
Location: Beer City, Cheese Quadrant
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| Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2003 1:32 pm Post subject: |
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| METATRON wrote: | SIR FARTY
WOULD YOU LIKE TO PURCHASE MY CAR??
FORD GALAXY 1978 V8 302 WEIGHTS 2.560 KGS(without the driver)
it is literary an batle tank! |
I remember those! Cool cars too ... I bid one half-empty (or half-full) bag of pretzels!
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-- Have you seen my goat? |
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Silly American Kanigit
Duke
Joined: 21 May 2002
Posts: 490
Location: Albany, New York
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| Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2003 2:37 pm Post subject: |
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I bid one FULL bag of pretzels and some penguin droppings.
_________________
S.C.o.G.i.LooNIS.&S.r.o.o.G.i.LooNIs.t.w.i.&G.c.LooNIs. |
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Fart in your gen direxion
I am the goatse.cx guy
Joined: 24 May 2002
Posts: 2022
Location: Regrettably for you, I'm Upwind in Upstate N.Y.
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| Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2003 3:02 pm Post subject: |
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| METATRON wrote: | SIR FARTY
WOULD YOU LIKE TO PURCHASE MY CAR??
FORD GALAXY 1978 V8 302 WEIGHTS 2.560 KGS(without the driver)
it is literary an batle tank! |
I used to own a Black 1972 Cadillac Coupe De Ville with a 500 cu. inch V-8. I kept several Galaxy 500's (as they're called here) in the trunk as spares. I'd park (actually, dock) the Caddy on TOP of Fords . But thanks for the offer  . |
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KWSN-HoC
KWSN ArchBishop
Joined: 18 May 2002
Posts: 1350
Location: German Quadrant
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| Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2003 4:48 pm Post subject: |
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SHoE!
Sir Fart was banned from Camelot's kitchen a while ago (must be around the time he took Rachel away from me) because his smell and emissions prevented the final PGGB fermentation process. (... and the lutefisk had a rotten taste - more than usual at least)
Well I'll take the opportunity to renew the ban and instruct the villains and the 'volunteers' from the catacombs again.
Ni!
_________________
Housekeeper of Camelot
Mastrumistulo de Kameloto
(also a Member of the Migratory Coconuts)
'My name is Homer from Borg. Resistance is fu ..... Oh doughnuts!'
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Lady DC
Princess DC
Joined: 24 May 2002
Posts: 2516
Location: Hotlanta, Ga
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| Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2003 12:22 am Post subject: |
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Very interesting posts here. Admitting stupid things that you have done. Aren't message boards great? Can admit almost anything and noone will think any less of you. 
_________________
|----Ni---Ni----|
Goddess of Spankings. 
Leon Day is coming. A most wonderful day to celebrate.
[img]http://www.katrinashome.com/ladydc_counter.php[/img]
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Mr. Snrub
Prince
Joined: 20 May 2003
Posts: 1916
Location: Someplace far away...yes, that'll do.
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| Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2003 8:59 am Post subject: |
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| Fart in your gen direxion wrote: | ...
I found the pizza upon my return to be just a bit overdone for my tastes. Even Sparky (may he rest in peace) would not eat it.
BUT, I didn't burn my hands removing the pizza !! |
Yes, yes, that's the stuff I was looking for! I too have started to cook things and went on to find something more interesting to do somewhere else. But I have never left the hemisphere to do it. Bravo to you, Sir Fart! Bravo!  |
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Fart in your gen direxion
I am the goatse.cx guy
Joined: 24 May 2002
Posts: 2022
Location: Regrettably for you, I'm Upwind in Upstate N.Y.
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| Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2003 9:13 am Post subject: |
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| Mr. Snrub wrote: | | Fart in your gen direxion wrote: | ...
I found the pizza upon my return to be just a bit overdone for my tastes. Even Sparky (may he rest in peace) would not eat it.
BUT, I didn't burn my hands removing the pizza !! |
Yes, yes, that's the stuff I was looking for! I too have started to cook things and went on to find something more interesting to do somewhere else. But I have never left the hemisphere to do it. Bravo to you, Sir Fart! Bravo! |
Sir Snrub,
Hey, what can I say, it's a gift !  And don't forget the 3 weeks part !!!! That "stupid award of the year" is mine !!! ALL MINE !!!! BUWHAHAHAHA !!! |
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Vesuvius
Prince
Joined: 11 Jun 2003
Posts: 1264
Location: Rowlett Tejas
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| Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2003 9:31 am Post subject: |
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| Fart in your gen direxion wrote: | | ...That "stupid award of the year" is mine !!! ALL MINE !!!! BUWHAHAHAHA !!! |
This sounds like a call for ... Captain Obvious!
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"There ain't no freekin' Indians around here..."
G.A. Custer 1876
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The Larch
Baron
Joined: 13 Jul 2003
Posts: 216
Location: Deepest, Darkest Essex
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| Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2003 11:03 am Post subject: Not so fast... |
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Hands up all those who believe that Pyrex is heatproof? Ahh, see, let me tell you that it is not, no way, absolutely, completely heatproof at all.
One day aeons ago when I was young and passably handsome, I tried to score browny points with the wife by preparing dinner. Being relatively inexperienced in the kitchen I sought and found a heatproof dish for the cooking of the mashed potatoes. This would save time and washing up as the potatoes could be boiled, mashed and served in the same container. This plan worked well for the first 2 minutes until the electric ring reached a sufficient temperature to destroy (and I really mean destroy) the pyrex dish. These things should really have a warning printed on them for thick blokes such as me.
There is a worse kitchen event but that was me being really stupid.
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Zzzzzzzzzzzz. No! What? Yes. Ahhhh. Zzzzzzzzzzzz |
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Fart in your gen direxion
I am the goatse.cx guy
Joined: 24 May 2002
Posts: 2022
Location: Regrettably for you, I'm Upwind in Upstate N.Y.
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| Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2003 11:07 am Post subject: |
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| Vesuvius wrote: | | Fart in your gen direxion wrote: | | ...That "stupid award of the year" is mine !!! ALL MINE !!!! BUWHAHAHAHA !!! |
This sounds like a call for ... Captain Obvious! |
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Mr. Snrub
Prince
Joined: 20 May 2003
Posts: 1916
Location: Someplace far away...yes, that'll do.
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| Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2003 6:51 pm Post subject: Re: Not so fast... |
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| The Larch wrote: | Hands up all those who believe that Pyrex is heatproof? Ahh, see, let me tell you that it is not, no way, absolutely, completely heatproof at all.
One day aeons ago when I was young and passably handsome, I tried to score browny points with the wife by preparing dinner. Being relatively inexperienced in the kitchen I sought and found a heatproof dish for the cooking of the mashed potatoes. This would save time and washing up as the potatoes could be boiled, mashed and served in the same container. This plan worked well for the first 2 minutes until the electric ring reached a sufficient temperature to destroy (and I really mean destroy) the pyrex dish. These things should really have a warning printed on them for thick blokes such as me.
There is a worse kitchen event but that was me being really stupid. |
Sir Larch, your actions seem perfectly reasonable to me. If I had been present, I would have been among those cheering you on. But on the upside, I'll bet your wife has exempted you from all subsequent meal preparation duties.
The problem seems to be that some products do not perform as advertised. Perhaps what we need is a list of words and phrases that should serve as red flags:
1) heatproof 2) unbreakable 3) dishwasher-safe 4) shatterproof 5) foolproof 6) electrically grounded 7) childproof 8 ) non-stinging formula 9) micro-wavable 10) shockproof 11) stain-resistant 12) easy-to-assemble 13) waterproof 14) odor-free 15) fireproof
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Silly American Kanigit
Duke
Joined: 21 May 2002
Posts: 490
Location: Albany, New York
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| Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2003 7:34 am Post subject: |
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Hey wait a minute here, I thought there was no number 4!
_________________
S.C.o.G.i.LooNIS.&S.r.o.o.G.i.LooNIs.t.w.i.&G.c.LooNIs. |
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Sir Hamster of Elderberry
KWSN ArchBishop
Joined: 20 May 2002
Posts: 5117
Location: Beer City, Cheese Quadrant
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| Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2003 8:55 am Post subject: |
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| Silly American Kanigit wrote: | | Hey wait a minute here, I thought there was no number 4! |
This case may be an exception to Rule #4. Here it seems there is no #5.
ni! i!u |
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The Spirit
Prince
Joined: 19 May 2002
Posts: 1348
Location: Swedish Quadrant
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| Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2003 6:12 am Post subject: |
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| Fart in your gen direxion wrote: | | I own a couple of cars, this car my daily commuter, it's a 2001 Hyundai, it's a POS (piece of sh*t ). It has sheet metal the thickness of aluminum foil. |
I see this as the stupid act in this story. Asian cars are POS, you shouldn't buy one.
(And how many will throw flames at me now...? )
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A man's got to do, what a man's got to do - that means saying Ni! and Ni! and Ni! and Ni! and Ni!... over and over again!!!
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