KWSN Orbiting Fortress

[rotciv KOTHRT]

Subject: Good to be retired


The next time someone asks you a dumb question wouldn't you like to respond like this? ....


Yesterday I was at Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet Abbie the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is t o load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.


_________________
Sir Rotvic Knight of the Halfround Table
MAD, MAD I tell you.They're all MAD.
I am the only sane one here, my Doctor told me I was cured after the shock treatments. Big Brother Is Aways Watching.

[mohrorless]

_________________
Fetch me the Holy Hand Grenade!




Keeper of the Unending keg of PGGBs
Taunter in Training
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