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When You're Feeling Stupid, Read This

 
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rotciv KOTHRT
Prince
Prince


Joined: 20 Feb 2006
Posts: 1482
Location: USA

PostPosted: Sat Oct 27, 2007 1:08 pm    Post subject: When You're Feeling Stupid, Read This Reply with quote

(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"

-- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest .

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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey

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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign .

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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward .


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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

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"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."
-- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.

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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas .

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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
--Al Gore, Vice President

And ..

"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
-- Al Gore, VP

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"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
-- Dan Quayle


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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much
clean air do we need ?"
--Lee Iacocca

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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor .

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"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
--Bill Clinton, President

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"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery

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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
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Feeling smarter yet?

Send it on to your brilliant friends.
I just did!!
_________________
Sir Rotvic Knight of the Halfround Table
MAD, MAD I tell you.They're all MAD.
I am the only sane one here, my Doctor told me I was cured after the shock treatments. Big Brother Is Aways Watching.


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belenus
Prince
Prince


Joined: 08 May 2007
Posts: 1244
Location: Pale blue dot (Aviles, Asturies, Spain, Europe, Eurasia, North of Africa, South of Arctic....)

PostPosted: Sat Oct 27, 2007 4:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing Shocked Laughing Shocked Laughing Shocked Laughing Laughing Laughing

Well, everybody can have a bad day and make a mistake but....., oh no, they are just stupid.
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klaatuborada
Yo ho! Post ho!
Prince


Joined: 08 Dec 2002
Posts: 2098
Location: by the dock by the bay...

PostPosted: Sat Oct 27, 2007 8:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Actually, Yogi Berra said "Half this game is 90% mental." He's got a million of 'em.

My favorite: "It ain't over 'till it's over"
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Confucious say, "Man who lay girl on hill, not on level"
sic eas ad astra

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