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[RT] For the BOYS only --- WOMEN NOT ALLOWED
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Sir Hamster of Elderberry
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 5:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

alpha_fruit wrote:
You're smarter than the average bear, sHoE. Wink


Bear?!? Shocked What a good idea! Smile I wonder if bears like chocolate-covered otters?



A large bear, smelling chocolate, saunters into the room ...

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Michelle
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 8:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Shell pushes up the secret trapdoor in the floor and gets a clear view of Daggy's situation. She pokes him in the bum. "Psst, Daggy. In here."
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alpha_fruit
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 8:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

As Daggy, look over here and grab this poker I will have you out in a sec. Those penguins have called the bears for backup, so hurry.
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Dagger
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 2:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

As the bear enters the room, all the penguins turn around to see what just walked in. At the same time he feels a slight poke, and sees Shell beckoning to come down the trapdoor. As he slowly makes his way backwards towards the trapdoor, he notices Alpha up in the rafters with a firepoker. He decides to take the trapdoor exit, as it is closer and Alpha would be safe from the bear up in the rafters.
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Michelle
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 5:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Shell looks up and signals to Alpha to remain where she is...thankful for the training gained from years of watching La Femme Nikita episodes. Wink
Dagger slips through the trapdoor, vulnerable but safe. It's a tight squeeze. "Daggy, you'll have to go down there and wait while I clear the Men's Room. Get rid of the poker too."
"But I don't have the poker. Alpha's got it."
"Well, what's poking me in the hip then?" Embarassed
Dagger holds up his flute. "I was practising when the penguins came in."

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jbyram2
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 7:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Whistling "Andy Griffith" in a drunken, off-key sort of way, Jammy comes back with the rest of the men, with a creel full of fish they caught at the secret mens fishing spot (which is surprising because the men usually go there for the beer, and not for the fish).

All the penguins and the bear immediately smell the fish, and commence to chasing Jammy and Co., who take a second or two to realize what is happening, and so start running when the hungry animals are nearly upon them.

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Michelle
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 8:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Daggy, we have a situation. Get your butt down to the basement and stay there until I tell you to move."
Shell hits the button concealed in a secret place and whispers into the microphone on her collar, "Alpha, we've been given the wrong intel. We'll have to get these silly old drunks out before we can clear the room. Try and get over to the corner and distract the penguins and bear. I'll try to get the men out this way."
Alpha wriggles along the rafters towards the far corner of the room, as Shell slides out through the trapdoor and hugs the wall.

The penguins and the bear have Jammy and the other men cornered. Things aren't looking good at all. Alpha taps the wall with the poker. The pengions and bear are distracted. She taps again. Shell gives Alpha the thumbs-up and moves along the wall.
"Throw them the fish, Jammy."

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jbyram2
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 12:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dazed and stupified from running and being chased by suddenly appearing animals (not to mention the beers), Jammy hears someone say "Throw him the fist, Jammy!". Being a manly-man (and not fully sensible at his point), he shrugs, puts down the fish, and steps up to the bear and punches it in the nose.
The penguins, seeing their shining moment, dive into the fish as only hungry penguins can.

The bear meanwhile, hold a huge paw up to its tender nose, as a large tear wells up in its ursine eyes and its enormous toothy jaw begins to quiver.

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Michelle
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 12:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing

"Fish, Jammy. Not fist." Shell rolls her eyes, noting the bear's rapid recovery from the shock of being punched in the nose. He was getting cranky and it was only a matter of time before he clamped those jaws down on one of the silly men.
Sir Prize M.D., realising the situation is becoming quite tense, whips out his handy little pocket-sized first aid kit.
Shell beckons to them. "You've got to get over here and through the trapdoor now. The fish are nearly all gone and those penguins look mighty hungry."

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jbyram2
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 12:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sir Prize hands the bear a gauze pad, some alchohol wipes, and a roll of tape, then bolts for the trapdoor.
Guided by the more sensible and sober members of the crew, Jammy and the others hurry down the stairs, and shut the trapdoor, just in time. Good thing too, because the bear had been getting more and more frustrated as it tried to find the end of the tape with its huge claws, finally thowing all the medical stuff down in a fit a and roared towards the closing trap door.

So all the men, and all the women, (except for fruity, who was still up in the rafters, and Shell, who had moved in to a dark corner) are squashed together in the cellar. Up above them, they hear the sound of the bear crashing against the trapdoor, and of the penguins playing happily in the chocolate pudding pit, their hunger satisfied. The bear was really angry though, because he missed out on all the fish.

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Sir Hamster of Elderberry
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 12:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey guys, I hate to distract you when you're about to make good your escape and all, there's still a certain chocolate-covered-someone in the room that you seem to have forgotten all about ...

ni! i!u
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Michelle
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 12:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

OMG!! Lady Randy is still in the pudding! Shocked


DUH DUH DUH

Stay tuned for the next exciting instalment of "The Men's Room".
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jbyram2
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 1:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wait ... are there ANY women at all in the cellar?
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Silly American Kanigit
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 1:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The bear, eyeing Lady Randy's fingers and toes covered in chocolate pudding realizes that the penguins are still in the boys room. Bears are scared of penguins but love chocolate so the bear dives in to the rasslin pit and scares the dickens out of Lady Randy. Not completely sure what to do Lady Randy picks up one of the smaller penguins and smacks the bear over the head. Suddenly Alpha falls from the rafters.
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Sir Prize
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 1:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The smaller penguin recovers from its concussion and bites the bear's foot. Ole man bear emits a terrifying shriek and runs out the door straight into the arms of the Terrible KillerRabbit
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Sir Hamster of Elderberry
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 3:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

jbyram2 wrote:
Wait ... are there ANY women at all in the cellar?


Um ... well actually ... it's not so much of a cellar really ...

...

... it's more of a ... you know ... spider pit. Confused


But in answer to your question; Yes, there are females in that ... ah ... cellar.

...

...

Thousands of them! Shocked Twisted Evil



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alpha_fruit
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 6:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey you guys, don't leave me up here with this grouchy bear, open that door and let me outta here. I'll remember that the next time you need a hand and leave me hanging.

I'm glad you saved Randy though, as the penguins and that grouchy ole bear were heading that way.

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Michelle
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 7:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Shell's mind is racing. As Jammy and the other manly-men made their escape they shoved her into the dark corner for safety. Or was it? She's not so sure now as she tries to map out an escape route for herself, Randy who is still in the pit, and Alpha who has just dropped from the rafters like a spider.
She hoped that the spiders she had brought along to scare the penguins and bear were still safely secured in their crate. All she had to do was...

Muffled cries drifted up from the cellar trapdoor. She could make out Daggy's "What aboot this then, eh?" and Sir Prize's "Gosh and begorra! The leprechauns are upon us." interspersed by Jammy's dulcet Noo Joiseyian cursing. "Save the penguins" cries SAK as he bangs on the bottom of the trapdoor.

Save the penguins? What about the ladies? Lady Randy whacks the bear over the head with a second penguin while Alpha grabs a third and follows suit. Shells consults her palm pilot and traces out a plan with the help of the satellite tracking unit. She should be able to do this without calling for back-up.

She dives out of the dark corner and joins the other ladies in the rasslin pit, grabbing a penguin on the way. At this rate they should have the bear subdued completely by the tenth penguin.

The distressed manly-men are still calling out from the cellar, but Shell isn't too concerned. The spiders aren't venomous, just numerous with hairy legs that will make the men's skin itch.

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RandyOtters
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2005 12:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Lady Randy, still trying her best to lick herself out of her current situation, enjoys the parade of various wildlife that has surrounded her. As her furry tail has the bear's and penguins total attention, she worries not in the least as she is very versatile in keeping her tail in exactly the position that causes the least harm while entertaining Sir Dagger and gang. Thankful that Lady Michelle is on the scene to ensure that nothing or no one is too badly traumatized by the ensuing antics, she continues to keep both her cool and the pudding at an even keel. It takes alot to fluff her fur and sinks slowly back into the rich chockie delights, and lifts a delicate eyebrow for anyone wishing to partake of the the delights within......

To all, I only whak penguins when they get alittle too frisky for their own good. The bears have a nasty habit of leaving clawmarks (especially lost kodiaks....hehehehehehehe) and as for the boys - I swear I see the glint of at least one or two micro-cameras in the corners. So, Michelle, Alpha, BEWARE, BEWARE!!!!! If this gets onto the web, I will bring out my bazookas and do some damage! Shocked

with that, Lady Randy wonders where on earth she has left her nun's habit......

P.S. Chockie spiders are rather tasty, but tickle as they go down..... #ni-2
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Michelle
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2005 12:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing

"Cameras you say? If those boys have set us up, they'll be getting 3 pairs of bazookas to sort 'em out!
Alpha, knock out camera 1 with your poker. I'll get the second with my handy little pocket slingshot."

Pitang!

"Lady Randy, you keep the penguins occupied while I slip over to the trapdoor."


Shell quietly slides over and puts her ear to the floor. Jammy's voice booms out over the others.
"What the...! I think they're onto us. Run away, run away!"

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