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[CJ] Tales of the Stupid
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LadyKong
Baron
Baron


Joined: 08 May 2003
Posts: 108

PostPosted: Sat May 01, 2004 1:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I used to say the stupidest things when MK and I were dating. One day, he was helping me move out of my dorm room, and we were both getting tired. The dorm was one of those sky scraper like buildings, and so MK suggested that we go up on the roof to take a breather. My reply:

"I don't think this building has a roof."
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Mr. Snrub
Prince
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Joined: 20 May 2003
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PostPosted: Mon May 03, 2004 6:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Excellent! That's the stuff! You used to say stupid things? I hope that marriage hasn't cured you of this most wonderful talent.
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Fart in your gen direxion
I am the goatse.cx guy
Prince


Joined: 24 May 2002
Posts: 2016
Location: Regrettably for you, I'm Upwind in Upstate N.Y.

PostPosted: Mon May 03, 2004 6:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dumbest thing I ever said was just before I got married...... I said "I DO" !! Sad
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Dagger
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Joined: 10 Mar 2004
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PostPosted: Mon May 03, 2004 9:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dumbest thing i've done so far.. put my hand on a hot stove element to check if it was hot or not.
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Sir Psyoku Mushai
Prince
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Joined: 10 Apr 2004
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PostPosted: Mon May 03, 2004 12:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

dumbest thing I've ever done.... tell people that I'm fine after a very bad day in the foster home... then pass out 3 days later from the concusion and fractured skull Shocked guess that will teach me that my head wasn't as hard as I was thinking it was.... or maybe it was, hard to say..
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The Genome Tonto
Squire
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Joined: 07 Jun 2002
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PostPosted: Tue May 04, 2004 9:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't know about the others, but I just knew you were the victim of serious abuse.

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Sir Psyoku Mushai
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PostPosted: Tue May 04, 2004 11:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nah no abuse I jsut got the shit kicked out of me 6 out of 7 days a week for 13 years give or take... I wouldn't really call that abuse.. oh wait my bad that *is* abuse Rolling Eyes at least I'm more on my own now and god to piss on the assholes grave... yeah I feel much better now, not bitter in the slightest Twisted Evil
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Eaving
Prince
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Joined: 23 Feb 2003
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Location: Portland, Or.

PostPosted: Thu May 20, 2004 7:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok, the following tale is, I think, the single stupidest thing I have ever done. I was showing a coworker a silly science trick several years ago. Standard lighter fluid is slightly heavier than air, so if you hold a lighter with the button depressed, but not lit, over a coffee mug for awhile, the mug will fill with flamable gas. I then lit the gas, and you get a merry little fire burning in the bottom of the mug. It doesnt burn that quickly, as its not getting the much oxygen. Now I was doing this at work, which I really shoudlnt have been, and I didnt want to just let it burn out, so to end it quickly I decided to blow it out.....



















For those of you that didnt make the connection, this means Im suddenly adding masses of Oxygen to the mix and sending a rather impressive fireball out the top of that coffee mug. I realized this fact somewhere after my brain had irretrievably sent the exhale command to my longs, but just before the air started actually started exiting. I started leaning back right as the air hit the mug, got off with nothing more than a couple of singed hair tips, but felt like a complete moron.
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Sir Latch
Dutchubus
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Joined: 30 Oct 2004
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Location: Closer than you want (Arbutus, MD)

PostPosted: Fri Nov 19, 2004 12:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Let's see... when I was fairly young (probably 7-9 years old?) I got a matches (or maybe it was a lighter) and proceeded to try to burn the ants that I found under the chicken coop (the coop was set up on blocks to keep it dry).

Of course, it wasn't going so well as they just ran away. So I found some nice straw lying around and added that to the mix. Now it was going a little too well. Uh oh.

Found my brother... who found my father... who found the hose... the spigot for which was located by the house some 200 feet away. The hose was not 200 feet long. We (They) managed to put the fire out. A few more minutes and we'd have lost the chicken coop.

I don't remember my punishment... I guess I was still young enough to get away with it for the most part. Probably wouldn't have if we had needed to call the fire department (located 3 miles away) and/or if the forest behind the coop caught fire (only well over 100 acres there).


May not be the stupidest but it surely sticks out. Embarassed
I am definitely a pyro. Wink


Just remembered another... go forward about 5-6 years... burning papers in the burn barrel... decided to burn some wet papers... oh I'll need some gas... more papers... more gas (think layers, 3 or more)... finally top it all off with a pizza box (fit nice and snug)... toss in match... kaboom... pick up all the papers (which are currently on fire) that just blew out the top of the burn barrel... my nearest neighbor (who was probably almost 70 at the time and lived a good 200 yards up the road) came down and knocked on the front door because he heard an explosion... I proceeded to explain that I was burning some wet papers and added a little too much gas (left out the layering part)... whew... got away with it again Embarassed
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Sir Latch of the Highlands
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Fart in your gen direxion
I am the goatse.cx guy
Prince


Joined: 24 May 2002
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Location: Regrettably for you, I'm Upwind in Upstate N.Y.

PostPosted: Fri Nov 19, 2004 8:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote



#ni-2
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Sir Latch
Dutchubus
Prince


Joined: 30 Oct 2004
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Location: Closer than you want (Arbutus, MD)

PostPosted: Fri Nov 19, 2004 10:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Fart in your gen direxion wrote:


#ni-2


#Onfire WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! #Onfire Twisted Evil
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Sir Latch of the Highlands
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Mr. Snrub
Prince
Prince


Joined: 20 May 2003
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Location: Someplace far away...yes, that'll do.

PostPosted: Sun Nov 21, 2004 6:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Excellent! I only hope that you remembered to pull the legs off of the ants before you toasted them! Twisted Evil
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Mr. Snrub
Prince
Prince


Joined: 20 May 2003
Posts: 1916
Location: Someplace far away...yes, that'll do.

PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2005 5:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Words to live by: If something smells like it's on fire, then it probably is. Embarassed
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Sir Hamster of Elderberry
KWSN ArchBishop
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Joined: 20 May 2002
Posts: 5115
Location: Beer City, Cheese Quadrant

PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 10:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Early this year The Lady Elderberry came home from the garden store with two pepper plants, and place them in our garden where they have thrived. One was a green pepper plant, and we enjoyed stuffed green peppers for dinner Saturday. The other is now producing these pretty little bright-orange peppers, and TLE cut one in half and brought it to me to sample (also Saturday dinner). Knowing that it was likely to be hot (I like hot, usually), I bit into it very cautiously ...

...

... and might as well have stuck my tongue into a hive of angry bees. Embarassed

I ran to the 'fridge to get the lemon juice (helps cut the capzasin), but it wasn't much help. My lip was burning too, and my nose started to run. Made another mistake and blew my nose with the same napkin I had wiped my mouth with, so my nose started burning too. Meanwhile, TLE got a dose of the stuff just from handling it with bare fingers. Needless to say, there was a bit of interruption to our nice meal.

The next morning, my eyes got a light pepper sting after putting in my contact lenses. This after 10+ hours and washing my hands multiple times. TLE's fingers were still burning too.

Two days later, TLE can still taste the stuff on her fingers.

Anybody want some nice hot peppers? Wink

ni! i!u
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KWSN Im Not Dead
Prince
Prince


Joined: 10 Apr 2007
Posts: 710
Location: East Tennessee

PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 11:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Along the lines of stupid things said:

I was consulting at a company in Norfolk, VA a few years ago. The big boss decided that the three of us (two developers and a DBA) needed more "direction" so he hired this woman to be our boss. She came in like she was Queen of PeopleSoft and starting asking questions thirty minutes after having touched the front door. At first the questions were reasonable and seemed appropriate, however as time passed (three days) we started getting the same questions in different formats. By the end of the third day, the three of us had decided that she didnít have a clue what she was doing and was just asking general questions that she thought sounded good. Anyway, on the forth day of this woman she comes in and asks the following questions of both myself and the DBA:

1) How often do you refresh DEV? (ok, good question)
2) How often do you refresh QA? (ok, so far so good)
3) How often do you refresh PROD? (what the hell would we refresh production with? Development? Vanilla? QA?)

The DBA started giggling and no sooner than he started I had to join in. The best part was that she NEVER understood why we were laughing...EVEN when we tried to explain it. I think she finally got it when she mentioned it to the big boss and he said something to the effect of "PROD doesnít need refreshing". Needless to say we did not get along with her very well, but that is w/o question the single stupidest thing I have ever heard asked in person.

If she had not come in like she was the "Queen of PeopleSoft" I would have been alot more forgiving, but her attitude was so poor that it was even that much more funny.
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jonnyv
Happy Fun Admin
KWSN Castellan


Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 2098
Location: Scottsdale, AZ

PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 11:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sir Hamster of Elderberry wrote:
Early this year The Lady Elderberry came home from the garden store with two pepper plants, and place them in our garden where they have thrived. One was a green pepper plant, and we enjoyed stuffed green peppers for dinner Saturday. The other is now producing these pretty little bright-orange peppers, and TLE cut one in half and brought it to me to sample (also Saturday dinner). Knowing that it was likely to be hot (I like hot, usually), I bit into it very cautiously ...

...

... and might as well have stuck my tongue into a hive of angry bees. Embarassed

I ran to the 'fridge to get the lemon juice (helps cut the capzasin), but it wasn't much help. My lip was burning too, and my nose started to run. Made another mistake and blew my nose with the same napkin I had wiped my mouth with, so my nose started burning too. Meanwhile, TLE got a dose of the stuff just from handling it with bare fingers. Needless to say, there was a bit of interruption to our nice meal.

The next morning, my eyes got a light pepper sting after putting in my contact lenses. This after 10+ hours and washing my hands multiple times. TLE's fingers were still burning too.

Two days later, TLE can still taste the stuff on her fingers.

Anybody want some nice hot peppers? Wink

ni! i!u


Habaneros?
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mohrorless
Mail Order Goat Bride
Prince


Joined: 09 Oct 2006
Posts: 11206
Location: NYC

PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 12:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sir Hamster of Elderberry wrote:
Early this year The Lady Elderberry came home from the garden store with two pepper plants, and place them in our garden where they have thrived. One was a green pepper plant, and we enjoyed stuffed green peppers for dinner Saturday. The other is now producing these pretty little bright-orange peppers, and TLE cut one in half and brought it to me to sample (also Saturday dinner). Knowing that it was likely to be hot (I like hot, usually), I bit into it very cautiously ...

...

... and might as well have stuck my tongue into a hive of angry bees. Embarassed

I ran to the 'fridge to get the lemon juice (helps cut the capzasin), but it wasn't much help. My lip was burning too, and my nose started to run. Made another mistake and blew my nose with the same napkin I had wiped my mouth with, so my nose started burning too. Meanwhile, TLE got a dose of the stuff just from handling it with bare fingers. Needless to say, there was a bit of interruption to our nice meal.

The next morning, my eyes got a light pepper sting after putting in my contact lenses. This after 10+ hours and washing my hands multiple times. TLE's fingers were still burning too.

Two days later, TLE can still taste the stuff on her fingers.

Anybody want some nice hot peppers? Wink

ni! i!u


Laughing Thank you for brightening up an otherwise dreary day!
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Sir Hamster of Elderberry
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KWSN ArchBishop


Joined: 20 May 2002
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 1:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote



They are Habanero chilies, very much like those shown here on the upper left.

More:
http://www.mojavefarm.com/pepper_scale.htm

#Onfire ni! i!u #Onfire
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jonnyv
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Joined: 15 May 2002
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Location: Scottsdale, AZ

PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 1:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Those are good stuff, but I'd definitely wear rubber gloves when handling them. I got the pepper burn on my hands once (and it lasted for days) - I started wearing gloves after that.
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 2:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

jonnyv wrote:
Those are good stuff, but I'd definitely wear rubber gloves when handling them. I got the pepper burn on my hands once (and it lasted for days) - I started wearing gloves after that.


and why would you put these anywhere near your food.......?

#ni-1
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