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[CJ] Tales of the Stupid
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Cow_tipping
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2003 6:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Spirit wrote:
Fart in your gen direxion wrote:
I own a couple of cars, this car my daily commuter, it's a 2001 Hyundai, it's a POS (piece of sh*t Crying or Very sad ). It has sheet metal the thickness of aluminum foil.


I see this as the stupid act in this story. Asian cars are POS, you shouldn't buy one. Smile

(And how many will throw flames at me now...? Rolling Eyes)


Spirit #Onfire How 'bout European cars?
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Fart in your gen direxion
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Prince


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2003 9:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Spirit wrote:
Fart in your gen direxion wrote:
I own a couple of cars, this car my daily commuter, it's a 2001 Hyundai, it's a POS (piece of sh*t Crying or Very sad ). It has sheet metal the thickness of aluminum foil.


I see this as the stupid act in this story. Asian cars are POS, you shouldn't buy one. Smile

(And how many will throw flames at me now...? Rolling Eyes)


Noooooo, Hondas and Toyotas are good cars Razz .

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Mildew
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2003 9:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cow_tipping wrote:
The Spirit wrote:
Fart in your gen direxion wrote:
I own a couple of cars, this car my daily commuter, it's a 2001 Hyundai, it's a POS (piece of sh*t Crying or Very sad ). It has sheet metal the thickness of aluminum foil.


I see this as the stupid act in this story. Asian cars are POS, you shouldn't buy one. Smile

(And how many will throw flames at me now...? Rolling Eyes)


Spirit #Onfire How 'bout European cars?

Like Skoda?
Oh yes, great cars... Rolling Eyes

The very finest car in the world is made in Europe, but is owned by GM. I'm talking about SAAB of course. Wink
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KWSN Sir CADCAM
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2003 2:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Surely, the most taked about European classic car must be the beloved Trabant -
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Prince


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2003 2:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

KWSN Sir CADCAM wrote:
Surely, the most taked about European classic car must be the beloved Trabant -


That's one butt-ugly car Sad .
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Sir Furry Mark
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2003 4:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Fart in your gen direxion wrote:
That's one butt-ugly car Sad


You're right! Shocked

How can we improve it? Confused

Got it, I know exactly what it needs! ... Twisted Evil
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Ni!
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KWSN Sir CADCAM
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2003 4:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Another way to improve the Trabant.

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Gunslinger
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2003 4:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Right you lot - lets get this thread back on topic!!! #Onfire

Not entirely sure if I should be admitting this, but a couple of years back I only just avoided a hospital visit after doing something silly with something I got out of an expensive Xmas cracker. It was a pair of big clip-on earrings with a ratchet clasp (squeeze to clip on, squeeze to remove again). I can only attribute what happened next to the volume of alcohol that had been consumed that evening (anything else would be too embarrassing Embarassed )

Everyone laughed when they dropped out of my half of the cracker... Laughing
Everyone laughed when I tried them on my ears and said "Hey look - I'm a pirate"... Laughing
Everyone laughed when I clipped them into my eyebrow - "Yay! Now I'm a punk rocker!"... Laughing
Everyone laughed when I clipped one between my nostrils saying "Now I'm a bull!"... Laughing
Everyone laughed when I fell to the floor screaming and with tears rolling down my cheeks from the PAIN... Shocked
Everyone laughed when they cottoned on that the only way I was going to be able to remove it WAS TO SQUEEZE IT TIGHTER! Shocked Shocked

After ten minutes of total panic (not aided by a collection of drunk people offering to help while clutching various implements of destruction - tweezers, pencils, knives, pliers, tin-snips, etc., etc.) and the dawning realisation I was about to be bundled into a car and taken to spend hours waiting in the Emergency department, I finally got up enough courage to squeeze hard enough. Crying or Very sad
Grisly crunching noise, some blood and satisfying "Click" as it came undone... Shocked Shocked Shocked

Now I know why you can lead a bull by the nose. Rolling Eyes

Ni! #2gunfire
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Cow_tipping
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2003 5:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Right on that one.
Do you have a piccy for the not the imaginary talented people amongst us? (like mysself Embarassed ) Maybe than I can laugh whilst understanding what it's about. Laughing
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2003 6:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

GS,

Seems like you'd need to repeat the act to be certain your results were not a fluke. We want sound and video. Very Happy Thanks
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Mr. Snrub
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 16, 2003 6:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The other day I was faced with the daunting task of watering a plant. A little water is good, I reasoned, so a lot of water must be just fantastic. So I filled the little green one right to the top...

...which was sitting on top of my television set. I didn't see the water leaking out of the plant and into the TV. When I came back into the room I was puzzled to see the TV busily reprogramming itself in Spanish...

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Sir Forth of Erebourne
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 17, 2003 4:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was swinging on a rope swing out over water and pluinging in. Some others there were doing somersaults and flips in. I decided that, despite never diving off anything in life, I'd try a simple dive. I succeeded - a perfect, 10.0 BELLYFLOP #Microwave from 30 feet. Fortunately, it was so perfect, I only went 6 inches underwater and just had to lift my head to recover the air lost. Boy was my face(gut) red.

Sir Forth
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Sir Hamster of Elderberry
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 17, 2003 10:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Indeed! Gravity IS a harsh mistress.

So is inertia.


I used to go mountain biking a lot when I was still in school. I even had real mountains to bike on. One place I used to go had a very long gentle downhill stretch where you could build up some serious speed. Somewhere in the middle of this was a moderate curve followed by a small ditch to prevent erosion. If you stayed on the gravel path, the "bump" going over the ditch was very small, but it was rather bigger if you weren't right in the middle of the trail. So of course one day I come flying down this hill, full of adrenaline and empty of sense, and hit this curve rather faster than I ever had before ...

... and had to fight to keep from sliding on the gravel ...

... and got a little bit off to the left side of the track ...

... and hit the big bump instead of the small ...

...

Isn't it funny how time seems to slow down when something BAD is about to happen to you?

...

Because I was trying so hard just to stay on the trail, I wasn't able to shift my weight off the seat in time to absorb the bump. The bump became a launch ramp, and sent me flying way up in the air. If this was the X-games nobody would have been impressed, but to me it seemed a LONG way down (maybe 6-8 feet, eyes to ground). Worse yet, I was completely off-balance, and coming down front wheel first, with my head directly over the front wheel, and most of my weight over my head. exclamation

I actually landed this jump ON my front wheel. At this point the laws of physics had an arguement over whether my body ought to continue over the handlebars or come back down on top of the bike. During this seemingly long time I was riding the front wheel in a "reverse wheelie" for at least 20-30 feet. Fate seemed to smile upon me, I got my weight under me, and came back down on top of the bicycle. Smile

... and my foot missed the pedal. Surprised

(Fate had been mearly smirking, and burst out laughing at this point.)

My fall continued butt-first to the ground, bouncing off the bike seat along the way. This part wasn't so terrible, it was a hard fall but landing on one's keister is not so bad.

This is where "inertia" really got me.

The bad part was that I was still moving ...

... and moving fast ...

... tangled up with my bike ...

... sliding on my butt ...

... on gravel.

What fun it was to feel bits of muscle getting torn up as I slid over the rocks. (This hurt a bit. Crying or Very sad )

Lycra is a wonderful substance though; my bike shorts literally saved my skin. After I jumped up I was very surprised to find A) that I COULD jump up, and B) that I was not bleeding profusely (externally anyway. The bruise later was incredible).

After a great deal of hobbling about and cursing, I managed to stand on one pedal and coast the bike down to where my buddy was waiting for me. He drove me from there. The little sitting I did for the next three weeks was leaned over way to the left. No visible scars, but I have a nice pad on scar tissue under the skin to remind me about Newton's First Law of Motion. Confused

ni! i!u

Sir Hamster (the now somewhat subdued adrenaline junkie) of Elderberry
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Fart in your gen direxion
I am the goatse.cx guy
Prince


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 17, 2003 10:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mildew wrote:
Fart in your gen direxion wrote:
Killerrabbit wrote:
Well I ran into a parked car in a bicycle of curse I was not looking where I was going at the time.

Ni


You were cursing before or after you ran into the car ? Rolling Eyes

Sir Fart!

You are misinterpreting the Wabbits post. Confused

He was riding The Bicycle of Curse, which is much like The Bicycle of Doom but with smaller tires and without the cool Instant Car Destruction (tm) feature.




Sir Rodentia,

Finish the story Mad !

Eventually, you sold the cursed bike Surprised .

To a dsylexic bunny Confused .

Our (are) bunny Shocked !

Da WABBIT !

And the Bicycle of Curse continues to wreak havoc to this day Rolling Eyes .

WABBIT, sell the bike back to Sir Hamster, or Mildew Razz .

(This could be a Stephen King novel Laughing )
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Vesuvius
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 02, 2003 2:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I nominate this thread for the archive.
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Grizzly
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 02, 2003 2:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Vesuvius wrote:
I nominate this thread for the archive.


I Wonder WHERE this is going ??? Idea

Ahh - So des shoe'e de NI !!

Regds Grizz Very Happy
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Sir Hamster of Elderberry
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 02, 2003 3:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

DONE! Very Happy
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Fart in your gen direxion
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Prince


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 02, 2003 3:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I hope this thread was not vaulted too soon, although I suppose we can still add to it here Very Happy . You see, this team is made up entirely of MORONS so I can't see where the "Tales of the Stupid" will ever end Rolling Eyes . Oh sure, we might go a few weeks without doing something stupid, but eventually one of us will come through Wink . The problem is that we may be too stupid to know that we've just done something stupid Sad .
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Sir Hamster of Elderberry
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 02, 2003 4:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

There's a simple solution to this problem: We just rename the whole bulletin board to "Tales of the Stupid", then all posts will be accurately placed!!! Very Happy
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Fart in your gen direxion
I am the goatse.cx guy
Prince


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Location: Regrettably for you, I'm Upwind in Upstate N.Y.

PostPosted: Sun Dec 21, 2003 10:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That is:

1. The stupidest thing I've ever heard Confused

2. An excellent solution Cool
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