KWSN Orbiting Fortress

Sir Hamster of Elderberry

Those darned Higgs Bosons are causing trouble again!

Baguette-toting bird stalls atom smasher

mohrorless · Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 9:22 pm Post subject:

Night Guard: Who goes there?

LHC employee: It is I, LHC guy, looking for the beginning of the universe!

Night Guard: And him?

LHC employee: This is my trusty partner Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of this LHC in search of problems.

Night Guard: What? Baguettes here?

LHC employee: Yes!

Night Guard: You're serious!

LHC employee: What?

Night Guard: This is Geneva, Switzerland, there are no baguettes here

LHC employee: Yes There Are!

Night Guard: How would they get here?

LHC employee: They could be made here.

Night Guard: Made here? In Geneva? The Baguette is French!

LHC employee: What do you mean?

Night Guard: Well, this is Geneva.

LHC employee: The baguette may have come here!

Night Guard: Are you suggesting baguettes migrate?

LHC employee: Not at all. They could be carried.

Night Guard: What? A bird carrying a baguette?

LHC employee: It could grip it by the crust!

Night Guard: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a five ounce baguette.

LHC employee: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you let us in so we can find the baguette piece and the beginning of the universe?

Night Guard: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a birdneeds to beat its wings very fast, right?

LHC employee: Please!

Night Guard: Am I right?

You get the picture...
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Al Dente · Posted: Thu Dec 10, 2009 4:45 pm Post subject:

Fact: The LHC is searching for the Higgs Boson.

Fact: The Higgs Boson is also known as the "God Particle".

Fact: Every particle has a corresponding anti-particle.

Fact: Therefore there is an anti-particle to the "God Particle".

Inferred fact: This must therefore be the "Devil Particle".

What happens if the LHC discovers the "Devil Particle" first.

We're all doomed I tell you.

D O O M E D.

#ni-1

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Michelle · Posted: Sat Dec 19, 2009 6:21 am Post subject:

Remember the 'strange light' in the sky in Norway recently? Some of the comments I read on the news sites about it being caused by the LHC were hilarious. End of the world stuff.
Still not sure whether I believe the failed missile launch story or not though.
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A Shrubbery · Posted: Sat Dec 19, 2009 9:37 pm Post subject:

In cases like this, I just remind people that "Yes, we are all going to die."

Hard to argue with my sound logic.
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KWSN - A Shrubbery
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Cow_tipping · Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 4:38 am Post subject:

I guess the devil made him do it.
According to this article, the Higgs Boson particle would have been created with the LHC in the future. An that particle has given the assignment to the bird in question in the past to sabotage it's discovery.

http://www.newscientist.com/blogs/shortsharpscience/2009/10/is-a-time-travelling-higgs-sab.html

could have been a new article, but it just fits!
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Al Dente · Posted: Mon Jan 11, 2010 6:41 pm Post subject:

So, if I've got this right, at some time in the future the LHC discovers a Higgs Boson. But because it's rather a camera-shy little bugger, it travels back in time to "kill it's grandfather" to stop itself being discovered.

That proves it then; the Higgs Boson must exist. So they can shut down the LHC and move all that computing power they've installed over to shrubbing for KWSN. Twisted Evil

World Domination is imminent.

#ni-1

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Creationists believe they never evolved; I agree with them.

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Sir Papa Smurph · Posted: Mon Jan 11, 2010 7:48 pm Post subject:

A Shrubbery · Posted: Mon Jan 11, 2010 8:16 pm Post subject:

Well that's all well and good until the REAL higgs-boson discovers the bait and switch and that we will discover its secret lair through some distributed program that counts the number of rocks on the British Isles at which point it will be obligated to smite us all with a smoked herring.

No thank you, I say.
_________________
A Shrubbery for Prez. Let's put more bushes in the whitehouse.

KWSN - A Shrubbery
Shrubbing since 2000 for the KaNI!ghts.

mohrorless · Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 7:40 pm Post subject:

Al Dente · Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 10:54 pm Post subject:

Three Particles for the Heisenbergs under the sky,
Seven for the von Neumanns in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Schrödinger on his dark throne
In the Land of Dirac where the Strange lie.
One Particle to rule them all, One Particle to find them,
One Particle to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
To give them Mass where the Charms lie.
_________________
Creationists believe they never evolved; I agree with them.

. . My Milestones . . My Full BOINC list

Sir Hamster of Elderberry · Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 5:24 pm Post subject:

Sir Papa Smurph · Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 8:42 pm Post subject:

mohrorless · Posted: Tue Jan 19, 2010 5:10 pm Post subject:

My precious!
_________________
Fetch me the Holy Hand Grenade!

#Usa

Keeper of the Unending keg of PGGBs
Taunter in Training
Campaign Manager for Sir Shrubbery

Plus

Al Dente · Posted: Wed Jan 20, 2010 2:59 pm Post subject:

mohrorless · Posted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 10:34 pm Post subject: